There was so much Chava (name changed to protect her identity) wanted to tell her family before she passed away, but didn’t know how. There were things to ask forgiveness for, and she felt a pressing need to say “goodbye” to her loved ones. But until Hatomchim volunteer Judy Frei came to see her, Chava just didn’t know how she could express her feelings to her family.
“I visited her in order to just be there for her. She had a need to talk. She got the things that were bothering her off her chest – fear, mourning, grief, anxieties. I was there to listen,” said Frei, who met with Chava, a religious woman in her 60s, once a week for about an hour, over a two-year period.
Frei, whose own cousin passed away from cancer, decided to enroll in the HaTomchim training program so she could understand how cancer survivors coped with the disease. “I listened to what they said, and learned what they wanted to give back to others,” noted Frei, a professional bereavement counselor from Petach Tikvah.
Reflecting on her experience with Chava, Frei recalled: “We formed a special bond. Yet she didn’t know anything about me.
“I learned a tremendous amount from her – especially the importance of positive thinking. Her attitude toward her illness was: ‘This is what it is, and I have to accept what God dishes out to me.’ She was an amazing woman.”
“Her attitude toward her illness was: ‘This is what it is, and I have to accept what God dishes out to me.’ She was an amazing woman.”
